silkandwind (![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} silkandwind) wrote,@ 2005-01-04 03:57:00 |
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Upon examination of internal dialogue, flickering memories, and unexplained actions, I have determined my fatal flaw. This is stated as if it were a critical analyzation of Hamlet; where concrete dispositions are carefully drawn out. My flaw is purely incidental, accidental, a poorly developed allele: my mother had no idea when I first emerged. This investigation would become crystal clear to outsiders if I would only remove the cloud of ambiguity. These tergiversations are completely expected, and I suppose, necessary. This research has taken me twenty years to come to a somewhat agreeable hypothesis. I cannot just give away years of my life in a few simpleton sentences I constructed on a whim.
This flaw is not inherited, nor learned. Personal discovery has only made me more self-conscious of my previous actions. My conduct merits evidence of a flawed personality feature. Not so much a feature, but the foundation. Are we all built on flaws?
Internal 'habits' are easy to disguise for they lack direct outside pressures. They are easy to brush to the side. I'm dealing with mine now so I don't end up with a huge mess down the road. It's overwhelming, dealing with twenty years' mess, I can only imagine 80.
I write in these terms for simple reasons. One, by writing in a language we are so apt at ignoring, this seems like school, hopefully you will reject all I say. You will brush it off, your attention span waning by the second sentence. For I do not write for anybody but myself, and if I change this, why don't I change my body as well? Two, repetition of monosyllabic words is annoying. No one wants repetition unless it reaches a crescendo of symphonic proportions.
Happiness comes in waves associated with familiarity. Standardization is so comforting, fashionable non-conformistism is even expected. I am merely living my age. Prescribing to the scholastic ideology we are all too afraid to confront. Thank you Erik Erikson, I am in Stage 6. It's nicer to have a spot in the realm of ideas, than be left aimlessly wandering, wondering, in a place that no one could dare imagine. For nnsanity lies on the outer ridge of imagination, a place we dare not visit.
I love you, too.
This flaw is not inherited, nor learned. Personal discovery has only made me more self-conscious of my previous actions. My conduct merits evidence of a flawed personality feature. Not so much a feature, but the foundation. Are we all built on flaws?
Internal 'habits' are easy to disguise for they lack direct outside pressures. They are easy to brush to the side. I'm dealing with mine now so I don't end up with a huge mess down the road. It's overwhelming, dealing with twenty years' mess, I can only imagine 80.
I write in these terms for simple reasons. One, by writing in a language we are so apt at ignoring, this seems like school, hopefully you will reject all I say. You will brush it off, your attention span waning by the second sentence. For I do not write for anybody but myself, and if I change this, why don't I change my body as well? Two, repetition of monosyllabic words is annoying. No one wants repetition unless it reaches a crescendo of symphonic proportions.
Happiness comes in waves associated with familiarity. Standardization is so comforting, fashionable non-conformistism is even expected. I am merely living my age. Prescribing to the scholastic ideology we are all too afraid to confront. Thank you Erik Erikson, I am in Stage 6. It's nicer to have a spot in the realm of ideas, than be left aimlessly wandering, wondering, in a place that no one could dare imagine. For nnsanity lies on the outer ridge of imagination, a place we dare not visit.
I love you, too.
